Sand and Water
by youngmedic
Summary: What would you give for the one that you love? Would you sacrifice everything that you care about to give them a chance to live? Luby
1. Chapter 1

Hi everyone, well this is my first ER fanfic that I wrote a while ago, and I just plucked up the courage to post it! So it'd be great if you guys want to read it or let me know what you think or give me any tips or anything! Thanks :)

**One**

The music blared pleasantly, the room surrounded by people dancing or smiling. At a table in the middle sat the staff of County General ER, chatting happily together after another tough shift. Smiling to herself as she looked around the already slightly tipsy faces, Abby stood up from the table, grabbing at her coat.

"Well, sorry to be a party pooper, but I'm going to take off," she announced, wriggling into her coat as the chorus of groans that she knew was coming appeared.

"No! It's still early! Abby, stay," pleaded Susan, drunkenly grabbing at her hand.

Leaning down, Abby pulled her into a brief hug, and smiled around the unhappy faces that were turned in her direction.

"Sorry kids, I've gotta work tomorrow. You guys enjoy your night!"

Hands waved and patted her on the back as she made her way to the door, exhaustion hitting her now that she was out of the main crowd of her work colleagues. Waving with a smile to the barman, Abby put her hand on the door to push it open, welcoming the cold blast of air that hit her as it swung open slightly.

She was stopped by a hand that had fallen on her shoulder gently, and spinning around, she came face to face with a gently smiling Luka. Stepping back inside for a moment, she moved slightly closer to him, noticing the slight red tinge to his cheeks betraying the fact that he had been drinking too.

"Were you going to go without saying goodbye?" he asked with a pout, and Abby laughed, feeling herself relax as she always did when she was around him.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Luka," she replied softly, her hand rubbing gently on his upper arm before she turned to leave again. She felt her breath leave her as Luka grabbed her hand, spinning her around to land in his waiting arms as he hugged her tightly to him. Smiling into his shoulder, Abby wrapped her arms around his waist.

Swaying slightly to the music, Luka pulled is head back slightly so that he could see Abby's face, and smiled happily down at her.

"Are you alright?" he asked, searching her face for any signs that she was not, as Abby nodded, pulling her head back to his chest.

"I'm just a bit tired. It's been a long week."

They stood in silence for a moment, Abby enjoying feeling so comfortable with Luka, and Luka thrilled to have Abby stood in his arms again. Eventually, deciding that he had to let her go, Luka pulled away again, kissing her tenderly on her forehead.

"Do you want me to walk you back?" he asked, not liking the thought of Abby walking home on the dark nights on her own, but knowing that she was stubborn enough not to see his good intentions. As he had expected, Abby shook her head, smiling affectionately back at him.

"No, I'll be fine. You make sure you enjoy the night." Moving away from him slightly, Abby looked back for a moment. "And remember to tell me all about it tomorrow!"

Grinning, Luka pulled Abby back for a moment, kissing her softly before letting her go with a wave. He stood and watched her walk through the door, pulling the collar of her coat up to protect her from the icy wind, until he couldn't see her any more. Smiling to himself as he thought back to the kiss, he wandered back to the group, seeing Carter heading his way with a spare pint.

*

Abby smiled to herself as she walked along, wondering when it was that life had gotten so perfect for her. Putting her hands in her pockets to keep them warm, she let her thoughts drift back to Luka. She had always had a soft spot for him, even since she first met him. But she had never allowed herself to imagine that he might have a soft spot for her as well. Grinning at that thought, she turned the corner, glancing up briefly to see that she only had a couple more blocks to go before she was home.

The footsteps behind her were so soft that she never heard them coming until a hand was clasped over her mouth, and a distinctly masculine voice was murmuring in her ear not to fight and not to shout. Helplessly, Abby felt herself being pulled backwards, losing her footing part way and feeling the man drag her further down the dark side alley.

A cold, hard wall pushed up against her back, as the face of her attacker swam into view, holding her head back with his hand pressed to her mouth.

"No trouble, do you hear me?" he asked, watching as tears of fright slipped down her face.

As soon as his hand was moved, the Abby opened her mouth to shout for help. A hard punch to her side stopped any sound from forming as the man realised quickly what she intended to do. Abby doubled over, feeling pain wrack through her as she fought to get air back into her lungs.

"Stupid girl," the man snarled, moving to hold her back against the wall. Shooting her leg out, the he was caught off guard as Abby's foot connected painfully with his shin. Keeping hold of her with a hiss of pain, he punched her, her head banging painfully into the wall behind her. Feeling black start to cloud her vision, Abby prayed to God that somebody would come to find her before it was too late, even as she heard the man starting to remove his belt. She welcomed the blackness that would let her get away from the horrific pain.

A while later, she heard vaguely the sound of sirens, and someone shouting the paramedics. Faces swam into view, but through her concussion she couldn't understand what was going on. Accepting that she had to let these people do what they wanted to, Abby stopped fighting and gave into the unconsciousness again.


	2. A Rude Awakening

Hey everyone, thank you so much for your reviews, they were so nice and really encouraging! Thanks to everyone who took the time to read this as well. I know it's a bit sad right now but I hate giving sad endings so it's looking good I promise :) But I hope this is alright anyway, and thanks again I really appreciate you guys reading and reviewing!

**Two**

Coming around again, Abby felt disorientated for a moment. Bright lights were blinding her, and she was lying on a bed somewhere, with a soft pillow under her head. She wondered for a moment if Luka was there somewhere, until she remembered that she had left him in a bar. Moving her hand up, she felt an oxygen mask over her mouth and nose, and everything flooded back as she remembered what had happened.

"Hey, easy, easy," came a gentle voice, and Abby found herself looking up into the kindly face of an older woman who was obviously a nurse. "How are you feeling, honey?" she asked, watching as Abby fought the fear that was in her eyes.

Pulling the mask from her face, Abby coughed a couple of times. "Where am I?" she asked, her voice hoarse and croaky.

"You're in Chicago West Hospital dear," the woman replied, placing the mask gently over her face again. "You were attacked and brought here by ambulance, but we're taking good care of you now."

Abby nodded, closing her eyes against the pain and other strange feelings that were coursing through her. She opened her eyes again when she heard the nurse talking to her.

"What's your name, honey?" she asked, smoothing some hair from Abby's face which was oddly comforting.

Abby moved the mask to one side again for a moment. "Abby Lockhart. I'm a doctor at County General."

The nurse looked taken aback, before smiling gently again. "That's great, Abby. We could call them now for you? As soon as you're stable we could transfer you there if you'd prefer?"

Abby shook her head, feeling the exhaustion starting to take over. "No, please don't call them."

"Is there anyone you do want me to get in touch with honey? I think it'd be easier for you to have a friendly face with you."

Abby thought for a moment, her initial reaction to ask for the nurse to call Luka. After thinking about it for a moment, Abby closed her mouth again, knowing that her resolve wouldn't stand seeing Luka at that moment, and that she couldn't tell him what had happened. Looking back up at the nurse, she shook her head sadly.

"OK, dear. You have a think about it, and if you change your mind later then we'll get someone over here."

The door to the resuscitation room that she was lying in banged open at that moment, and Abby found herself looking up at a young woman with her blonde hair tied neatly back. The stethoscope around her shoulders told her that she was a doctor, and somewhere far away Abby heard the nurse repeating everything that Abby had just said to her. She was nodding, looking sadly down at Abby.

"Well, Dr. Lockhart, I'm glad to see that you're awake. I'm Dr Rathbone. I need to discuss some things with you. You've had a substantial beating, with quite a bad concussion. We believe that you have broken a few ribs, and your breathing has been laboured since you came in, although whether that's due to the ribs or the shock we don't really know. There should be no permanent damage, although you may be sore for a few weeks."

Abby nodded, taking the mask from her mouth and putting it beside the bed, feeling it get harder to breathe the moment that she did.

"Let's leave that on for now," the Dr. Rathbone said gently, placing the mask back over Abby's face and watching her sats pick up again. "Abby, I know that this is hard, but we need to do a rape kit. Is that OK?"

At the mention of the word, Abby's eyes shot open and fear flooded through her as the attack played back in her mind again. She shot up, standing from the gurney on unsteady legs as the nurse and Dr Rathbone moved towards her with their hands out, desperately trying to get her to calm down. Reaching up, she pulled the mask from her face, moving away as they came closer to her, making it clear that she didn't want to be touched.

"Where are my clothes? I need my clothes back!" she shouted, looking around the room for the sight of the familiar patient belonging's bag.

"Easy, honey, easy," the nurse murmured, trying to get close enough to touch Abby, but having no success.

"It's alright, Abby, we don't have to do a kit. We just want to help, and you're in no fit state to leave right now."

"I'd like my clothes now. I'm going home." Abby replied, looking Dr Rathbone in the face for the first time.

"Abby, we just want to help you. Please don't leave, I can't say that you'd be alright." Dr Rathbone replied.

Looking into the face of the stubborn woman who was struggling to even stand and yet still held her head high to look the young doctor straight in the face, she knew she was fighting a losing battle. Reaching under the bed, she passed Abby the bag that held her clothes.

"I'll just go and fetch your AMA form," she said, watching as Abby nodded mutely, waiting until they had both left before starting to get into her clothes.

"We can't let her leave," the nurse mumbled, and Dr Rathbone shrugged.

"There's not much we can do to stop her."

"Don't you know one of the doctors at County? You could give her a ring."

Dr Rathbone sighed. "I could, but it would be breaking every confidentiality rule going."

"She's one of our own Alice," the nurse replied, and Dr Rathbone nodded.

Heading to the nearest phone, she picked up the handset, looking uncertainly. Taking a deep breath, she dialled the number into the phone, waiting anxiously as she heard it ring.

"Hi, could you put me through to Kerry Weaver please?"

*

Abby yawned widely as she stepped of the El onto the stairs. It had been a difficult night, and she was exhausted. Pulling her hood further up so that her face was still covered, she walked quickly into the ER, waving quickly at Jerry as she made her way into the staff room. Watching her wander in, Kerry made her way to the staffroom, quietly closing the door behind her. Abby looked around instantly when she heard the door close, and smiled gently at Kerry.

"Morning," she said, pulling her locker open as she started to empty her bag in there.

"Good morning," Kerry replied, watching Abby closely for any signs that the Dr Rathbone had been right the night before, although she had no reason to doubt her. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," Abby replied, pulling her lab coat out of her locker and taking care to make sure that she kept the less bruised side of her face in Kerry's view.

"Abby, how did you get those bruises?" Kerry asked, starting towards Abby and stopping in confusion when Abby turned with a smile.

"Oh, I was a bit drunk last night and I fell down the stairs on my way back. Nothing to worry about." She smiled brightly at Kerry, who nodded. She almost stopped her to admit that she knew what had really happened, but decided that it was not the right time to broach that particular subject. Straightening the collar on her white coat, Abby headed out of the staff room, picking up the first chart that she came to and vanishing before anyone else could ask her any questions.

*

Heading out of the supply room with a pile of bandages, Abby banged straight into something hard, dropping all but two. A wave of pain crossed her as some of the bruises were caught in the cross fire, and she instantly bent down to retrieve the bandages, muttering an apology to whoever she hit.

"Abby?" Luka asked, bending down to help her. "Sorry, I didn't see you coming out."

"Oh, Luka, it's you! Don't worry, no harm done," she replied, making light of the subject as she brushed a stray piece of hair from her face. She felt the atmosphere change, and cursed her stupidity as she realised that Luka must have seen her face. Moving her hand back up to brush the hair back in its covering position, she was surprised when she felt Luka grab her wrist gently.

"Abby, what happened?" he asked gently, tilting her head so that he could get a better look.

Abby shook her head from his grip, standing up quickly as she cleared her throat. She tried a smile, seeing the worry that lined his face.

"Nothing! I fell down the stairs last night on my way home. I'm fine."

"You don't look fine," Luka replied, grabbing her wrist again and pulling her after him into one of the side rooms. Abby protested, but one look at the worry and upset on Luka's face told her that it was useless expecting him to give in.

Luka led her to the gurney, waiting until she had pulled herself up with a wince. Looking her in the eyes, and feeling the worry grow when she didn't meet his eyes, Luka sighed.

"Where does it hurt, Abby?" he questioned gently. She cleared her throat slightly, looking up with a reassuring smile.

"I think I caught my side a bit," she admitted, and watched as Luka nodded gravely.

Putting his hands on her shoulders, Luka pushed her gently backwards. He moved on hand to beneath her knees, helping her to lie down on the bed. His heart jumped as she flinched at his touch, her eyes closing as she seemed to be fighting some kind of battle with herself. Pulling up her jumper, Luka gasped as he saw the furious bruising that had spread over her ribs and stomach. He touched it gently, watching as she jumped from the pain and realising that a couple of ribs must be broken. He sighed, thankful at least that the injuries were not serious.

"I don't believe that you fell down the stairs," he said softly, pulling her shirt down gently and glancing up to see her looking back sadly and uncertainly. "I wish you'd be honest with me, Abby. I can't help if I don't know."

Pulling her legs around so that they were dangling over the edge of the bed, Abby looked up with tears in her eyes, before closing her mouth on the sentence that had been about to escape. Wiping at the tears, Abby hopped painfully off the bed and made her way slowly to the door.

She almost reached it before she felt Luka's hands on her shoulders, and she turned to be engulfed in a hug. He kissed the top of her head gently, sighing.

"I'm here Abby, whenever you want to talk."

He felt her stiffen in his arms, and dropped his head, wondering what on Earth could have happened to affect her so badly. Offering him a half apologetic, half sad smile, Abby dashed out of the room, leaving Luka standing alone with his thoughts.


	3. The Only Choice

Hi everyone, just wanted to start with a huge thank you to the people that have reviewed my story - I really am grateful to you guys for taking the time to review! And thanks to everyone who has been reading as well - I hope this next part is OK!

**Two Months Later**

Abby walked with her head down through the corridors, completely lost in her own thoughts. She wondered how she could possibly be this unlucky, or why God was so obviously out to get her. Fighting back the tears that always seemed to be close at hand, Abby looked up to find herself standing in front of a room. Looking around in confusion, she wondered how she had got there, and what she had wanted to go there for in the first place, desperately searching her memory for any hint.

"Abby?" came a gentle voice, and she span around to come face to face with Luka. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah, I uh, I just..." she started, until she saw him frown slightly, pulling her gently by her arm into one of the free rooms.

She looked up into his caring face, and felt her heart break all over again. Yet somehow, it was like that moment had clarified all of the feelings that she had been feeling, and she knew for sure what she needed to do, even if it was the thing that she wanted least of all.

"What's wrong?" he asked gently, touching her face briefly before dropping his hand again. He knew how she did not like to be touched.

"Nothing, I'm just a bit tired. All this work, I need a break."

She saw the hurt and disbelieving look come onto his face again, but he just pulled her into a hug. She felt him sigh as he held her, and she found herself wishing that things had been different, and wishing that she could stay like that with him forever.

Abby pulled away with a cough, looking down at the floor in embarrassment. She looked up to see that Luka was still looking kindly at her. Reaching up, he tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, before moving towards the door to hold it open for her.

"I'm always here for you Abby," he murmured as she walked by, and she stopped in the doorway for just a moment.

"I know Luka. I know you are."

As she turned to walk away, Luka finally summoned up the courage to continue.

"Hey! Maybe we should meet up after work? Grab a drink or something to eat?"

Turning around, Abby felt her heart break all over again for the hopeful look on his face. Stepping back towards him slightly, she stopped, considering what to say. Should she follow her heart, or her head?

"I'm gonna have to take a rain check, Luka, I'm busy tonight." She cursed herself as soon as the words were out of her mouth, reminding herself that it was the right thing to do.

He nodded, watching her sadly as she walked away. He wondered how he could possibly help her when she wouldn't talk to him, and kept pushing him away. If only he knew what had happened on that night that seemed so long ago now, and yet still continued to follow her in everything that she did.

*

Abby found Kerry standing by the desk, typing furiously on one of the hospital computers. Walking slowly up to her, she held out a piece of paper, which Kerry took in confusion. Abby looked at the floor and cleared her throat.

"My resignation," she offered, before turning and heading straight for the lounge.

Kerry scanned the paper quickly, before rushing after Abby. She closed the door quietly behind her, keeping between Abby and the door as Abby looked up at her in surprise.

"Abby, what's all this about? I had no idea that this was coming."

Abby looked down, still putting things from her locker into her bag. She folded her lab coat carefully and put it back in the locker before she spoke, still looking down and hoping that Kerry didn't see through the lie.

"I just need a change. A new challenge." She paused. "I have some holidays saved up that should cover my notice so..."

"Why now?" Kerry challenged, indicating for Abby to sit down on the sofa with her. Realising that she had no option, Abby sat, her bag resting on her knee and visibly anxious.

"I've been here a long time, Kerry," she said, looking at her briefly and seeing her look back with compassion. "It just feels like the right time to move on."

"Does the rest of the staff know?" Kerry asked, and watched as Abby shook her head mutely. She knew this must have been a split decision.

"Look, Abby, has this got something to do with your attack?" Kerry knew she had hit the nail on the head the moment Abby's head shot up in shock. "I know what happened that night. The doctor on shift was a friend of mine, and she called me because she was concerned when you took off so suddenly."

Abby looked at her, her mouth falling open at the information. As she closed it, she had to fight against the tears that were threatening to fall, and the feeling of embarrassment that someone knew what had happened to her.

"Kerry, that was confidential. You have no right knowing that information."

Kerry put her hand on her arm gently, not surprised when she flinched. "I know, which is why I haven't approached you about it before. But if your resignation has something to do with that attack, I would rather you stayed here knowing that there was someone wanting to support you through this. I don't want you to go somewhere and be completely on your own."

The tears started to fall, and Abby was powerless to stop them. She sniffed, wiping her eyes roughly as she looked up at Kerry with pure sadness in her eyes.

"I can't stay Kerry. There's just no way that it can work. I'm sorry."

Standing up quickly, Abby rushed from the room, leaving a sad Kerry behind her. She sat for a few moments longer, wondering what her best course of action would be, before getting up and slowly making her way out of the lounge.

*

Kerry soon found Luka working in one of the side rooms. Opening the door, she waited for his attention.

"Can I have a word Luka?" she asked, and he nodded, flipping the chart shut that he had been looking at as he followed her out of the door.

She walked into a side room, and Luka followed, closing the door behind him. He looked at her in slight confusion, thinking that she had wanted to talk to him about his patient, and not understanding the need to speak in a side room.

"What's up Kerry?" he asked, watching as she looked uncomfortable.

Kerry paced slightly for a moment, before stopping abruptly and looking with sadness and guilt at the patiently waiting Luka. She sighed and ran her hand over her face.

"I have something to tell you, Luka, but if I tell you I will be breaking a confidence of someone I consider a friend. I want you to understand that the only reason that I'm telling you what I'm about to is because I think you're about the only person in a position to do something to help."

Luka nodded silently, waiting patiently for her to carry on, as Kerry sucked in a deep breath, biting her bottom lip as she wondered how much she should tell him.

"Luka, the night that Abby came in with the bruises on her face, she was attacked on the way home. She left the hospital that she was taken to before they could finish treating her, and I believe that something about that attack has stayed with her because she just handed me her notice."

"Oh my God! I knew something had happened, but I didn't realise she had refused help."

Kerry nodded. "The doctor was a friend of mine, and called me because she was concerned. Luka, you have to find her before she leaves."

Luka shook his head, sadness and anger radiating from his face. "I can't help her, Kerry. I just seem to make it worse every time that I'm around."

Putting her hand gently on his shoulder, Kerry smiled gently at him. "Luka, you're the only person that could get her to listen right now. She needs you. But she's leaving this job tonight, and you have to find her before she does."

Luka nodded, moving towards the door quickly. "I'll do my best," he promised, watching as Kerry nodded thankfully at him.

**So, I hope that was OK. I know it was a bit out of character for Kerry to go and find Luka, but I guess I just thought that the nice side of Kerry would break through if she was really concerned about Abby and that's why I wrote it this way. Anyway, thanks for reading! :)**


	4. A Long Goodbye

**Hi everyone, thank you so much for the reviews and for everyone else who read the last part. I'm so glad some of you think it's OK :) So here's the next part, hope that it's OK! Sorry it's kinda short, and I promise a happy ending lol!**

Luka rushed up the stairs two at a time, coming to a sudden halt in front of the familiar door. He banged on it, stopping for only a second before starting again, determined that she should hear him. He felt his heart racing, wondering if he was too late and she had already left. He breathed a sigh of relief when he heard movement in the apartment, and he stopped the banging, allowing her time to get to the door.

She had tears in her eyes as she pulled the door open, trying to convince herself that she wasn't upset. Looking up, she gasped as she saw Luka standing there, unexpectedly.

"Luka! What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you, Abby. Can I come in?" He looked at her pleadingly, seeing her resolve not falter.

"I'm a bit busy right now Luka."

"This won't take long, but you _have_ to listen to me," he replied.

Taking her gently by the shoulders, Luka pushed her back into the apartment so that he had room to get in and to close the door behind her. She sighed, putting her hand to her forehead as she tried to control the emotions rushing through her at seeing Luka at that moment. Taking her hand gently but firmly in his own, Luka pulled her behind him so that she had no choice but to follow him to the sofa and sit down next to him. As soon as he let go of her hand, Abby shuffled a little further away, keeping the space and distance between them.

Luka looked down at his hands for a moment, before looking up to meet her worried and confused eyes. He smiled reassuringly, reaching out to pat her shoulder and then thinking better of it.

"Abby, Kerry told me what happened that night," he started, seeing Abby take a sharp intake of breath as she wondered how unfair it was that she just wanted a clean break but everyone seemed to be interested in discussing her business. "I think I understand now why you've been so distant recently with me, Abby. And if I did anything to make that worse, then I'm sorry for that."

"You didn't do anything Luka. It's me," she replied quietly, looking anywhere but at him.

Luka sighed, hitting his hands against his leg. "Don't leave, Abby. Please think about it more. I'll help, I promise."

Tears glistening in her eyes again, Abby reached over to caress his cheek gently, watching as he leaned into her touch, his eyes closed as he savoured the moment. The familiar sadness threatened to overwhelm her again.

"You can't save me, Luka. And you can't help me." She sighed, rubbing her face with her hands as Luka watched her sadly. "I have to go, not just for me but to save you as well."

Luka sighed, frustration radiating from him as he took Abby's hand gently in his own. "Talk to me, Abby. I don't understand what's going on. I don't understand why you think I need saving!"

"I can't. I can't tell you this, Luka, I just don't know how. But you have to understand that I'm thinking of both of us."

Luka sighed, feeling the emotions welling up inside him as he watched the broken woman at the other end of the sofa. He looked around the room desperately, as if it could give him some hint of something that he could say to change her mind. Coming up blank, he turned back to see Abby watching him sadly. She smiled gently at him, hoping that he would see in that simple gesture how much she loved him.

"I won't leave," he stated stubbornly, shaking his head as he looked at Abby. "I can't stand by and watch you leave. I don't think I can do this without you."

"You have to learn to," she whispered back, looking down so that she didn't have to see the hurt on his face anymore.

Forgetting all about the boundary rules that he had placed in his own mind, Luka leaned across the sofa and pulled Abby to him, hugging her gently in his arms. For once, she relaxed against him, enjoying having him near her. She let the tears roll down her nose as Luka pulled his legs up onto the sofa so that Abby was leaning with her head on his shoulder and her legs between his. He held her loosely around the waist, kissing her gently on the head as his mind refused to think of anything else to say.

Abby closed her eyes, feeling the sting that came from crying. Slowly, sleep started to take over her, and she let herself forget about reality for a moment so that she could remember as her last memory of Chicago falling asleep in the arms of the man that she loved.

*

Luka awoke with a start, only cold air and space where Abby had been the night before. Jumping up off the sofa, he looked all around the lounge, his heart pounding when he saw no sign of her.

"Abby?" he shouted, moving through the rooms and finding nothing that suggested that she had been there.

Pushing open the door to her bedroom, Luka stood still when he noticed that clothes and other personal items like the photographs that always sat by her bedside had gone, as had the old suitcase that he had teased her about only a few months earlier. He dropped his head into his hands, groaning and cursing himself loudly for falling asleep.

Looking up, his eyes spotted a piece of white paper folded on top of the bed. As he drew closer, he saw his name was neatly written on top. Quickly flipping it open, he scanned it and read:

_Luka,_

_I know that you're confused right now, and I'm sorry that I can't tell you anything to change that. You just have to trust me and respect me like you always have, and know that I'm telling you the truth when I say that I have done the right thing. You are the person that I know I can always count on, and I wish I had been able to tell you everything sooner when maybe we could have done something about it, but it is just too late right now._

_My love and best wishes are with you always_

_Abby_

"Damn it!" he shouted, crumpling the note easily in his hand and pulling at his hair in frustration. He had not meant to fall asleep, and now the person that he loved had gone, and he had absolutely no idea how to find her.


	5. An Unexpected Meeting

Hi everyone, thank you so much for all the really kind reviews! I'm sorry for how long this next part has taken, but I hope it's OK :)

* * *

**Three Years Later**

Abby scanned through the items of the customer in front of her, taking the money with a smile while her mind was anywhere but on what she was doing. It was not a job that she really needed to concentrate on anymore after working there for almost two years. Her eyes darted to the clock again, the hands ticking dangerously close to five o'clock. Handing the customer their bag, Abby headed to the back of the shop, soon seeing the elderly owner sitting with a cup of coffee watching the news.

"Slacker," she said, smiling as he jumped slightly, before chuckling along with his favourite employee.

"Is it that time already, Abby?" he asked, checking his watch to see that it was indeed nearly five. "Do you want to take off?"

Abby nodded. "Is that OK? The shop's quiet and I've cleaned all of the shelves today."

The old man stood up, nodding with a smile. "Of course! You get out of here, you don't want to be spending your free time with old men like me. You've done a good job today, as always."

She smiled affectionately back at him. "Thanks Mr Robins. I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Same time, same place," he muttered after her, watching her go with a smile and shake of his head as he made his way slowly to the front of the shop to cover the now empty till.

*

Abby reached the front of the nursery in record time, watching as the other parents walked out with their young children. Smiling, she walked inside, seeing a small boy sitting swinging his legs patiently in the cloak room. Hearing the door bang, he looked up expectantly, a huge smile on his face when he saw her standing there.

"Mommy!" he shouted, rushing over to wrap his small arms around her legs. Abby chuckled, ruffling his hair as she hugged him back.

"How's your day been, little monster?" she asked, taking his hand as he obediently walked to the door with her.

She had to smile as he launched into an excited tale about what he had done that day, and she nodded along with him, not wanting to miss a moment. She looked a little sad as she watched his happy eyes, his expression so like the person that she left behind in Chicago that it almost made her start. Shaking her head to return her attention to the story that she was being told, Abby reminded herself that she had to be strong for the little boy that was next to her.

*

Abby wiped the front shop window cheerfully. It had seemed that her life had become so much harder that she had once wondered how she would cope. But now, things had taken a turn for the better. She loved her son, despite the circumstances, but she still always felt like she had a hole in her life since she left Chicago and her previous life behind. She didn't mind the work in the shop, but she missed her old job. _And Luka_ her subconscious reminded her, even as she pushed the thought to the back of her mind, not allowing the feeling of her heart breaking in two every time she thought of him to affect her good mood.

Moving to the stands in front of the window, Abby looked up to catch a familiar face looking into the shop window at the cakes on offer. He glanced up briefly, meeting her eye for a moment, before his jaw dropped in surprise. So fast that he almost tripped himself up, Luka rushed into the shop before Abby had time to close her own mouth is surprise at seeing him of all people standing there, especially when she had only just been thinking about him.

"Oh my God! Abby! Is that really you?" he asked, pulling her to him and wrapping his arms possessively around her. He had known that it was her from the instant he saw her, and while she was enclosed in his arms again, he promised that he would never let her go again.

"Luka?" she asked weakly, feeling the familiar happy and content feeling that she only got when he was around fill her again, and telling herself that she couldn't let this happen. She couldn't get over him again.

"Oh, Abby, I've looked everywhere for you. I missed you."

Looking up at him, Abby could see the only just contained joy on his face that he had found her again. She clamped her hands to her sides, stopping herself from reaching up to caress his face, or from hugging him back. It just couldn't work that way.

"Luka I...we can't do this." He looked confused and hurt, so she shrugged, allowing herself to take the easy way out for once. "I'm working."

"Not any more you're not, I can manage without you!" came a familiar voice behind her, and she was shocked to see her boss waddling over to her slowly. He smiled up at her gently, patting her shoulder.

"No, Mr Robbins, I couldn't possibly..." she started, giving up as the small man untied her apron and span her around so that he could whip it off her. She sighed, knowing that she was not going to win this argument.

Grinning mischievously, Mr Robbins pushed her forwards into Luka's waiting arms, who took the opportunity to wrap his arms tightly about her, giving her no way of escaping.

"You young people these days. All work and no play made Jack a dull boy you know! Go, have fun, and tell me all about it tomorrow!"

Turning Abby firmly towards the door, Luka looked behind him to mouth 'thank you' to the kindly old man. Mr Robbins smiled and winked back at him, giving Abby a cheerful wave when she turned around.

Resigning herself to the fact that she really had no choice but to go with Luka, Abby relaxed in his arms, allowing herself to enjoy the afternoon after not having time to do something fun in such a long time. And no matter how she tried, she couldn't convince herself that there was anywhere she would rather be that spending the afternoon with the man that she still loved.

*

Luka sat across the table from Abby, his plate clean of the food that had been on it. He had been grinning like a kid at Christmas since he found her, but now that he had had a chance to speak to her as well, his smile was even bigger. She looked up eventually, blushing when she saw the huge smile, and smiling herself despite her best efforts not to.

They had talked about nothing important, just catching up on each other's lives over the past three years. Luka made her laugh with stories of people at work, and little anecdotes of his life, while paying perfect attention to her. He asked her questions about what she had been doing, but soon realised that she was not willing to tell him, and let it drop for fear of scaring her off. All he hoped was that she knew how much he had actually missed her.

"It's so good to see you again," he muttered in the silence, watching as he head shot up. A small smile slowly spread across her face at the complement.

"It's good to see you too. I did miss you," she almost whispered, before dropping her gaze again and clearing her throat uncomfortably.

"Come back with me," he stated, chuckling as he saw Abby's head shoot up again and look at him in shock. "Come back with me and get your old job back."

He watched as she thought over what he had said. There was a change in her that made him sad. She was thinner, and pale, and looked like she hadn't relaxed or eaten since she left Chicago. But somehow, she had reverted back to the old Abby while she had been around him, and he didn't want that to change.

"I doubt that Kerry still has my old job open," she laughed, watching as Luka leaned over the table to hold her hand in his. She didn't stop him.

"It's worth a try! What will you have lost by asking?"

Abby went quiet again. "I don't know, Luka, I have a life here."

Lifting her head gently so that she was looking directly at him, Luka smiled kindly and patiently at her.

"Abby, look me in the eye and tell me honestly that you prefer your life here to the one that you had back in Chicago." _With me_ he nearly added, mentally telling himself that this was not the time nor the place to tell her that he was still in love with her.

"Well, no, I can't. But so many things have changed, Luka, that I'm not sure that I can go back and pretend that things are still the same as when I left. I left for a reason."

"You don't have to pretend that things are the same! You're a different person, so it could be different this time. Please, just give it a try?"

Abby hesitated, looking into her drink in thought. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, and she would be able to do that job that she loved again. And even if there could never be anything more between them anymore, at least she would get to see Luka. If she could deal with that.

"Please?" he asked again, looking down so that she was looking into his caring eyes. She chuckled, earning herself a smile from Luka as he enjoyed the sound.

"OK, fine. I'll pop by and speak with Kerry tomorrow."

Standing up, Abby led the way to the door of the diner, smiling at Luka as he rushed forwards to hold the door for her. They walked slowly along the deserted pavement, Luka with his arm draped around Abby and finding himself shocked that she didn't push him off. She sighed, and leaned into his touch, realising just how much she had missed him.

As they reached the shop, Luka spun her around so that she was facing him, her hand held gently in his own. She smiled happily up at him, and saw the huge grin on his face again.

"Listen, if I don't see you tomorrow, I know where to find you now. And don't think I won't be back here banging the door down!"

"I'll be there. I promise. Although I doubt that Kerry will have space for me."

Luka smiled gently, touching her cheek and feeling his heart rise when she pressed against his hand. "We'll see about that!"

He leant down and kissed her gently and respectfully on the cheek, standing up as soon as his lips had brushed gently against her own. She smiled up at him again, running her hand briefly over his face before she dropped it to her side again.

"Take care of yourself," he murmured, pulling his collar up against the cold and leaving Abby looking longingly after him as he disappeared around the corner.


	6. A Fresh Start?

Abby stood outside the all too familiar building, wondering at the amount of emotion that it stirred up inside her. She must have been standing there in the cold for a good twenty minutes, but somehow she couldn't summon up the will power to walk through that door, and face the people that she had left without saying goodbye three years earlier.

Sighing, she dropped her head and looked down at the floor. "You can do this, Abby," she muttered to herself as she walked straight through the door, never looking up until the heat of the hospital hit her.

Nothing had changed, she realised, as she stood looking at the reception desk with the familiar form of Jerry leaning behind the desk. His mouth fell open as he saw her, and Abby tried a smile. Noticing the change in the big receptionist, Luka looked up from the computer that he was working on, a huge smile reappearing when he saw Abby standing uncertainly in the doorway. He walked straight up to her, wrapping her into his arms.

"You're freezing!" he exclaimed, and she just laughed, smiling back up at him. "I'm so glad that you came."

"Me too," she reassured him, clapping her hands nervously as Luka released her from his hug, brushing a stray piece of hair behind her ear as he did so.

"Abby!" came a familiar voice, and the moment was broken as Carter rushed over to hug her. Hearing the familiar name, Susan nearly fell of her chair in her rush to say hello to her old friend.

"How are you? Where have you been? You've been sorely missed around here," Susan muttered, chuckling with Abby like nothing had ever happened. Abby laughed back, pure joy filling her as she stood surrounded by her friends again.

"Erm..." she started, before the familiar step and click of Kerry distracted her attention. She smiled shyly as Kerry made her way over, pulling Abby into a rare hug as she stood in the middle of the group.

"Hi Abby, glad you could make it," she muttered, before raising her voice for the benefit of the others. "Why are we all standing around? Patients to see, get moving!" she barked, making Abby laugh as the others rolled their eyes at Kerry. Secretly, she was glad that Kerry had stopped her answering questions for now.

Looking over her shoulder as she walked beside Kerry, Abby saw that Luka was still looking protectively after her. She smiled lovingly at him, and chuckled quietly when she saw him wink and give her the thumbs up.

*

She was soon sitting in Kerry's new office, a cup of tea on the desk in front of her and a smiling Kerry opposite her. She smiled back at Kerry's enthusiasm at filling her in on the developments in the hospital as they drank comfortably together.

There was a slight pause, as Kerry looked at the changed woman in front of her. Secretly, she thought that it was just in the nick of time that Luka happened to find her, but the smile that she saw on her face was genuine. So she hoped that the rest would all follow.

"It's so great to see you, Abby. How have you been?"

"I've been fine, thanks Kerry. Just getting on with things, you know." Abby nodded, her gaze never moving from the tea cup in front of her.

"You've been missed you know, especially by Luka."

A blush spread easily over Abby's face, and she looked up briefly at Kerry. Kerry laughed, picking up her own cup and draining it as Abby took the moment to breathe and remind herself that nothing bad was going to happen.

"Well, I'm not going to beat around the bush. This place is worse off without you, and if you decide that you want your job back, we would be lucky to have you."

Abby looked up, her mouth falling open in shock. Clearing her throat, she placed her cup gently back down on the desk.

"I strongly urge you to take this offer, Abby," Kerry started, looking her doctor in the eye across the desk. "We could really use you back."

"Well, I don't know what to say, apart from that I'm flattered, and when would you like me to start?"

"How about next week? Give you a chance to sort everything out before you come back. Obviously if that becomes a problem, the start time is flexible."

"Thank you so much," Abby murmured as Kerry held her door open for her. Kerry smiled happily back at her.

"It's my pleasure."

Abby was completely lost in her own thoughts as she wandered the all too familiar path to the door. She looked up at reception to see Luka looking at her anxiously. Grinning mischievously, she winked at him and gave him a thumbs up, seeing him laugh at her imitation of him.

Rushing around the other side of the desk, Luka scooped Abby up into his arms, spinning her around and placing a happy kiss on her cheeks.

"Oh my God, Abby, that's brilliant! When do you start?"

"Next week," Abby replied, blushing slightly but pleased at his reaction. He moved some hair gently from her face, smiling lovingly at her. She would never understand how much that news meant to him, that it meant that he was getting her back.

"I'm going to take you out to celebrate. When are you free?"

His heart fell as the all too familiar sad and gaunt look appeared on Abby's face. She looked up at him, sadness reflecting in her eyes.

"I'm a bit busy at the moment. Let me settle in, then we'll do something."

"I'll hold you to that!" Luka shouted to her as she made her way out of the door, watching her walk away with a worried and puzzled look before returning his attention back to his work.


	7. Trying To Find Normality

Hi everyone! Sorry for the delay again, exams and all that gets in the way :( Thanks for the reviews though, and thanks to everyone else for reading! I hope this next bit is OK, let me know what you think :)

* * *

"So, how was your first day?" came the voice of Luka behind her, causing Abby to spin around with a smile. She shrugged.

"Well, I think I've forgotten everything that I used to know, I'm restricted to minors and I'm pretty sure the staff are all wondering why I bothered to come back!"

Luka sighed and wrapped his arm firmly around her shoulders. She looked up at him with a smile as they walked slowly away from the hospital.

"It'll get better. You just need to get back into it again. You know you can always ask me if you need anything and I'll help?"

Abby nodded, putting her own arm around his waist as they reached the street. She leaned her head back against his shoulder, tiredness finally setting in.

"God, I'd forgotten how tiring those shifts were!"

"Well, how about a celebratory drink? You can relax for a while then," Luka suggested, feeling Abby stiffen under his arm again, and kicking himself for just dropping that on her.

"I'm really, sorry Luka, I have somewhere to be," she said, spinning around so that she could see him. He tried to look like it didn't matter, but hurt and confusion showed clearly on his face. "But I promise we will. As soon as I've found my feet again."

"Well, then let me walk you home. We can catch up on the way."

She moved out of his arms completely at this suggestion, and looked down at the floor in embarrassment. It hurt him to see the old Abby disappearing again into this new, uncertain, sad looking woman.

"I don't think that's a great idea. I'm sorry. I'll catch you tomorrow though!"

Spinning on her heel, Abby took off as soon as the words had left her mouth, not giving Luka a chance to reply. He sighed, running his hand through his hair as he watched her walk away, wondering what the best way to help her would be, and if he would ever get that wonderful woman that he was absolutely in love with to feel the same way about him.

*

Abby walked more confidently down the familiar corridors. It had been two weeks since she came back, and she was starting to get back into her stride again. Luka appeared to have backed off a bit, giving her the space that she had asked for. She missed him, but reminded herself that it was for the best. Although she still had to sternly tell herself that she couldn't fall for him again.

"Abby, there's a call for you on line one," Jerry said as she walked by with a file. She didn't look up from her reading, heading to the nearest computer.

"Who is it?" she asked briefly. Luka looked up, listening to what was going on in case his help was needed.

"Someone called Maria. She said she needed to talk to you."

Abby span around instantly, grabbing the phone off the hook. Luka tried to busy himself so that he wasn't listening in on the conversation. Not that Abby was giving away much. He heard her promise that she would be right there, but that was all. The instant the phone had been put down, Abby bolted straight for the lounge. Kerry stood by the desk, waiting until Abby reappeared, stuffing her arms into her coat.

"Abby, where are you going? Your shift isn't over yet!"

She slowed slightly, still heading for the door. "I'm really sorry, Kerry, I'll be back as soon as I can. But I have to go."

Kerry nodded. "Are you OK?" she shouted at Abby's back.

"I'll be fine!" she replied over her shoulder.

Kerry caught Luka looking after Abby with concern, and he shook himself back to reality, catching Kerry's eye. He shrugged, before heading away from the desk, a new chart in his hand.

*

Abby rushed into the nursery finding her son sitting in one of the free rooms with her nanny. Opening the door, he let out a howl when he saw her standing there, and she rushed over to him, wrapping him in her arms.

"It's OK honey," she whispered to him, stroking his dark hair gently as he clung to her. "What happened?" she asked the young woman sitting next to her who was smiling at her son encouragingly.

"One of the other kids didn't want to share his toy with Charlie, so he hit him around the head with it."

"Oh, Charlie," Abby muttered, rubbing his head. "Let mommy see."

Sitting back obediently, Charlie pointed to where the other child had hit him. Abby could see a purple bump already beginning to form there, so she rubbed it gently for him.

"It's not too bad, it's just that he wasn't calming down..."Maria began, relieved when Abby smiled at her.

"Don't worry, he'll be fine. And I'm glad you called me, you did the right thing." She leaned Charlie back in her arms again, looking at his face. "OK, Charlie Chin, Mommy needs to get back to work. Can you be a big boy for me and stay here?"

Even though tears were filling his eyes again, he nodded mutely. She smiled, kissing him gently on his forehead before rubbing his cheek gently.

"That's my boy!" Standing up, Abby smiled at Maria. "Call me if he gets worse or you need to."

Maria nodded, pulling Charlie to her for a hug. He smiled at his mom.

"Bye Mommy!"

Closing the door gently behind her, Abby waved cheerfully at him, letting out the breath that she had not been aware that she was holding. Her whole world felt like it was about to collapse when Maria had rung, and she could not even begin to appreciate the relief that had flooded through her knowing that he was alright.

*

Kerry wandered to the admin area, surprised at how the pile of charts had disappeared since the last time she was there. Spinning around, she saw nobody around except Jerry, who was typing something into one of the computers.

"Jerry, where have all the charts gone?" she asked, and he looked around in surprise for a moment, before remembering.

"Oh, that! Abby's been working at the speed of light since she got back."

"Abby's back?" Kerry asked, seeing Jerry nod confirmation.

"Yeah, she's in curtain area 4."

Walking quickly in that direction, Kerry found nobody in curtain area 4. Peering through the glass of the door on the side room, she saw a frazzled looking Abby signing her name on one of many charts that she had obviously just finished. She smiled as she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, and opened the door gently.

"Abby?" she questioned, smiling gently as she turned around. "Is everything OK?"

Abby nodded. "Yeah, sorry I had to leave Kerry. I've finished up all my patients though and did some extra to make up for the time I missed."

"So I can see! It's not a problem." Closing the door softly Kerry stepped further into the room. "Are you sure that you're OK?"

"I'm fine Kerry, I just..." she started, before she was cut off as she wavered a moment, holding onto the gurney in front of her to keep herself from falling.

Kerry was at her side in a moment, her hand reaching behind her back to stabilise her. Abby put her hand to her head, waiting for a moment until the feeling passed. She felt Kerry pushing her gently onto the gurney, and she obliged, sitting down gently.

"Abby? What is it?"

Looking up eventually, Abby smiled tiredly. "Nothing, I'm fine. I just skipped lunch."

Giving her a worried look, Kerry pushed her back so that she was lying down on the gurney. Abby looked at her in confusion.

"No harm in just doing a quick exam. Make sure there's really nothing going on."

Sitting up again instantly, Abby tried to move off the gurney, finding her way blocked by Kerry.

"I'm fine, Kerry, really. I don't need an exam."

Kerry sighed. "OK, look, just stay here. I'm going to go and find you something to eat. And if you've moved an inch when I get back, I'll fire you!"

Abby smiled weakly as she watched Kerry leave. She let her head fall back onto the gurney as soon as she felt that nobody would see and covered her face with her hands, wondering if this would ever get any easier. Kerry watched her sadly, turning to leave and coming face to face with Luka. He looked down at Kerry for a moment, before glancing into the room and panicking as soon as he saw Abby lying on the gurney.

"Stop, Luka, she's fine. She just felt a bit faint because she skipped lunch."

"Are you sure?" he asked, watching as Kerry nodded. He let out his breath in relief. "Well, I could go and fetch her favourite sandwich?"

Kerry smiled at him, knowing that he had a better chance of getting Abby talking than she did. She wandered off, taking the chart from Luka's hands.

"You take care of Abby, I'll cover your patients," she shouted over her shoulder, seeing Luka grin in thanks as he took off in the direction of Doc Magoos.

*

Peering through the door again, Luka smiled to himself as he saw that Abby was fast asleep. He crept over to her, enjoying the peaceful look that was on her face. Gently, he leaned down to move a strand of hair out of her face, placing the sandwich on the chair next to her and moving back towards the door.

She stirred as she realised somehow that someone was in the room with her. Opening her eyes sleepily, she saw Luka smiling at her from half way across the room. She smiled back, stretching and sitting up.

"Luka?" she asked, watching him turn and head back to her.

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing here?"

Sitting down on the edge of the gurney near Abby's knees, he reached over to the chair to hand her the sandwich that he brought with him. She grinned happily at him as she read the label on it.

"I thought you'd prefer my choice of sandwich to Kerry's," he replied, watching as she took a huge bite of the sandwich, nodding appreciatively.

"I can't believe you can still remember!"

Luka looked down, slightly embarrassed that it was so obvious how much he cared for this woman. He looked back to catch her watching him curiously.

"Are you OK, Abby?" he asked, seriously. She sighed in the middle of her bite, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Luka. I'm just a bit tired."

He looked at her sadly, brushing some hair from her face gently. "I can come over and give you a hand tonight if you need me to. You only have to let me know how I can help, and I will."

She smiled, feeling her heart break all over again for this man. Reaching out, she cupped his cheek gently.

"I know you would. But I'm fine, I just needed something to eat, that's all."

Looking at her unconvinced, Luka gave her a searching look. She smiled at him, hoping to convince him that she was telling the truth.

"Really!" she promised, watching as he smiled and pushed her legs over the edge of the gurney so that he could slip on properly next to her, taking her free hand in his as he sat silently, letting her take her time to eat. She loved having him next to her again, feeling his thumb trace invisible patterns on her hand. Smiling, she leaned back against him, letting her head fall gently onto his shoulder, and feeling the heat rise on her face as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him.

*

Luka knocked on the familiar door that night, glad that Abby was back where she belonged. He had managed to pull some strings with her landlord so that she was able to move into her old apartment again. He stood waiting, knocking again when there was no answer. Eventually, the door was pulled open and an exhausted Abby looked up at him, leaning against the door frame for support.

Shock registering on her face, Abby somehow found some strength and stepped out of her apartment, pulling the door two behind her. She smiled embarrassedly at Luka.

"Luka! What are you doing here?" she asked him seeing him look at her in confusion.

"I figured that you might need a hand. And judging from how you look now I'd say I got here just in time!" he replied, pushing some hair from her sweaty forehead. "Are you sure you don't feel sick?"

"Luka, you can't be here," Abby moaned, turning him by his shoulder to guide him back towards the stairs. "I'm sorry."

He stopped, turning to grab her by the shoulders. She wilted slightly as she saw him gazing straight into her eyes, realising that she had nowhere to hide.

"I don't understand, Abby! I thought we were getting on really well, but you're so distant with me. I just...I don't get it. I missed you so much and I thought...I thought when you came back that we..."

Luka stopped awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck as he saw Abby blush and drop her gaze to the floor. She sighed and rubbed her face wearily.

"It's not that I don't feel the same, I just..."

Luka stood waiting for an answer, seeing Abby trying to find the words and failing. Eventually she sighed and shrugged, folding her arms protectively across her chest. Letting his hands drop to his side, Luka held them out in frustration.

"Then what is it? You're going to have to explain it to me, Abby, because I'm completely lost."

"I can't Luka. I just can't."

Sighing, Luka looked at her sadly. "OK, I get the point. As soon as you're ready to talk, you know where I am."

He turned and walked away, not looking back as the door to the stairs closed behind him. Abby stood in her doorway, fighting desperately against the tears that were threatening to fall at any moment. Turning, she wrapped her jumper further round her, heading into the apartment and closing the door softly behind her. As soon as she had locked the door, a shriek and cry came from upstairs, and she sighed, thanking God that Luka had already left as she headed wearily up the stairs.


	8. Anxiety In The Workplace

Hi everyone! Thanks for the reviews, it's really appreciated, and thanks for sticking with me and still reading :) Hope this next bit is OK!

* * *

A week had passed quickly. Abby walked down the corridor, flicking through the file in her hand, despite the fact that she was not really concentrating on it. She sighed, looking up as she reached the admin desk to see that Luka was using one of the computers there. As usual, he looked away, causing her heart to break all over again. Filing the sadness away with how tired she was really feeling, Abby put on a cheerful front, hoping that nobody was going to see through the facade.

"This is unit 25, come in County General," came a voice over the com system. Sam leaned over to pick up the radio.

"This is County General. Go ahead unit 25."

"We're on our way back from a fire at one of the local nursery schools. Multiple victims, over."

"All received..." started Sam, before Abby rushed forwards and snatched the radio from her.

"Which nursery school, over?" Abby said, her voice hoarse as she prayed that it was not going to be the name that was so familiar to her.

"Steadhill Road School, over and out."

Feeling her knees grow weak, Abby leaned against the desk for support for a moment. Why did it have to be that nursery out of every one in Chicago? Why was nothing easy at the moment?

Not hearing Sam or Luka talking to her, Abby pushed past anyone in her way as she ran outside, bouncing from foot to foot as she waited for the first ambulance to pull in.

"Abby?" Luka asked behind her, following her out in concern. "What is it?"

*

Three ambulances had rolled in, and Abby was like a frightened rabbit, jumping from one to the other. Worried that she was going to collapse herself from the ashen look on to her face, Luka grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her around to him.

"Abby, what's going on? Talk to me!"

She opened her mouth to reply, when another ambulance rolled in. Carter and Susan stood by ready, lifting out the gurney while the paramedics talked them through the older woman's condition. Gasping, Abby rushed over.

"Mrs Hartley? Are you OK?" she asked, grasping the woman's hand which she held out to her.

"Oh, I'm fine, Abby. I'll be fine. Please, will you let me know how the children are?" she asked, her eyes pleading with Abby from her backboard that she would let her know that everything would be alright.

"I promise as soon as I hear anything, you'll be the first to know," she replied, letting a tear roll down her cheek as the woman slipped into unconsciousness.

She groaned, letting Susan and Carter wheel the woman away, both of whom were looking at Abby carefully for any signs that she was not going to be alright. Luka nodded at them, telling them that he would stay with her. Carefully, he wrapped his arms around Abby, watching as she turned and buried her face in his shoulder, her arms around his waist as she sobbed. He kissed the top of her head, stroking her hair as he tried to calm her about something, even if he still didn't know what.

The sirens of another ambulance tore her from his arms as she tried to run in that direction. Grabbing her upper arms quickly, Luka just stopped her from running straight into it's path.

"Abby, please, you have to calm down," he tried as a cry pierced the air from the ambulance. She froze for a moment, before wrenching her arms from his grasp and running full pelt at the ambulance.

She hopped inside instantly, feeling relief wash over her as she saw her son sitting up on the gurney, crying through the oxygen mask which was covering his face. Pulling him to her, Abby forced herself to be strong, feeling tears soaking through her jumper from where he was crying.

"It's alright, Charlie. Mommy's here," she whispered, kissing the top of his head as she scooped him into her arms, careful of the oxygen mask.

She ran into the ER, yelling at Jerry for a free cubicle, who instantly gave her one. Rushing that way, she ignored the looks that were coming from her colleagues as she placed the boy gently onto the bed, moving away to pull the curtains around the wailing child.

She was surprised when her hand met Luka's, and she saw that he was standing next to her in the way of the curtain. His expression told her that he was not going anywhere, so she moved back to her son, rocking him gently on her knee as a single tear escaped her tight control.

Luka sighed gently, and pulled the curtains quickly across, wondering who this child was that he had such a strong connection with Abby. He thought he had an idea, but the sight of Abby rocking the small boy on her knee and whispering encouragement to him made his heart shatter into a thousand pieces, so he forced the thought to the back of his mind, moving gently over to help treat the boy.

*

Abby felt herself being gently pulled to one side, as Luka smiled gently at her, sitting her on the edge of the gurney. Turning his attention back to the small child on the gurney, Luka pulled a funny face at him, pleased when the crying stopped a little.

"What's all this then?" he said softly, pleased that the boy seemed to still slightly at a calming voice.

Pulling out his stethoscope, Luka soon heard the reason that the child was struggling to breathe. He listened for a few more moments before pulling his stethoscope off and turning to face an ashen Abby. He was just as concerned about her as he was about the young boy.

"There's wheezing throughout his chest, which explains why he's struggling to breathe so much. He must have inhaled some smoke." He stopped as Abby cried silently, trying to smile encouragingly at the same time. "Hey, hey! He's going to be fine, we'll just give him a nebuliser and he should be just fine."

Pulling up the tiny shirt, Luka noticed some deep bruising starting to form on his chest. He pulled the shirt down again, sticking his tongue out at the boy and hearing him giggle a little.

"We'll get a chest x-ray as well and just make sure he didn't crack a rib," he added, nodding at Abby who smiled back at him.

Leaving for just a moment, Luka reappeared with a nebuliser, hooking it up and replacing it with the oxygen mask over the boy's face. As soon as he realised that he could breathe easier again, all crying stopped, and the boy smiled over at his mother. The porters appeared at that moment to take him off for an x-ray.

"I'm going to go with him," Abby announced, breaking that silence that had held her since she found her son in the ambulance. She was surprised to feel Luka's hand stopping her on her shoulder.

"You need to take care of yourself, Abby. You're not going to be able to help him otherwise."

She opened her mouth to argue, before she realised just how much energy this crisis had taken out of her after the busy weeks that she had been working. She nodded quietly, wrapping her arms around her waist as she watched her son being wheeled away, looking around him at everything as he passed. As soon as he was out of sight, the tiredness got too much, and she felt her knees crumpling as she fell into Luka's waiting arms.

He lifted her easily, resting her unconscious head into the crook of his arm as he walked towards the empty staff room, all of the staff too busy with the crisis to be having a break. He sat her gently onto the sofa, sitting next to her with her head resting calmly in his lap. Absent mindedly, he ran his hand through her hair, finally letting his mind wander over everything that he had just seen, trying to make sense of it all and trying to find out whether what he thought was true.


	9. A Secret Finally Released

Hi everyone, thank you so much again for the reviews and for reading - you guys are amazing and the support is fantastic! Here's the next bit for you, should only be one more chapter after this :) Hope it's OK!

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Twenty minutes passed in silence, as Luka was content to sit and wait for Abby to wake up. He stirred as he felt her head move slightly, her eyes flickering as she fought to return to consciousness. Eventually, they flicked open, fixing uncertainly on Luka's face as he smiled gently down at her. She instantly tried to sit up, looking confused when Luka tightened his arms around her.

"Easy, Abby, stay where you are," he murmured, wiping the hair from her face gently and smiling when he felt her relax slightly. "Who is that boy, Abby? Why do you care so much about him?"

She looked at him for a moment before tears started to fall, quickly turning into sobs. Sitting up slightly, Abby buried her face in Luka's shoulder, allowing him to comfort her as he ran his hand over her hair softly, whispering encouragement to her and tightening his other arm around her waist. He was content to sit and let her cry, thankful that she would let him stay with her.

Eventually the tears ran out, and she sat up with a sniff, Luka's arm still supporting her back as she looked down at her shoes. He sighed, rubbing her back in slow circles.

"Who is he, Abby?" he asked again, watching as she looked at him, trying to decide what to say.

"I have to go. I have to be there when he gets back," she replied, moving to stand up and getting irritated when Luka pulled on her hips gently so that she had no choice but to stay sitting on his lap. She turned to tell him off, until she saw the compassion in his eyes, and shut her mouth again quickly.

"Sam said that she was happy to stay with him until you got back. He's perfectly safe here." He watched her cautiously, trying to gauge her reaction. "I won't let you hide from me again, Abby. I just want to know how I can help you."

Tears ran down her cheeks unchecked as she looked into his eyes, pure sorrow radiating out from hers. Luka gently brushed them away with his thumb, surprised when she reached up and caught his hand in hers, moving it away from her face as she broke the contact between them.

"He's my son, Luka. Do you still want to help now?"

Luka sat quietly for a moment, weighing up the information even as his arms tightened around Abby and pulled her into his chest. She nestled under his chin, surprised that he had not bolted the instant that she gave him the information. He sighed gently, finally knowing that what he suspected was true. Now all he had to do was convince Abby that he still wanted to be with her. Even if she did obviously have a relationship with someone else.

As he thought this, a new idea popped into his head, as he considered the timing and the age of the child. Looking down, he moved Abby away slightly and tilted her chin up gently so that she was looking directly into his eyes.

"Abby, when you were attacked all those years ago, were you...I mean...did he rape you?"

She didn't answer, but closed her eyes sadly, dropping her head so that her eyes were looking directly at her clenched hands. Her body language told him everything that he needed to know. So she hadn't cheated on him, she had no choice. And the child sitting out in cubicles was the result of that attack. Sighing deeply, he pulled her against him again, wrapping her arms around her tightly, and hoping that she could feel the extent of his love for her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he whispered, kissing the top of her head gently. "Don't you know that you can tell me anything? I'll always be there for you. You didn't have to do this alone."

"I don't know," she sniffed, wiping her eyes briefly as her arms found their way to rest comfortingly on Luka's strong chest. "I didn't want to trap you. And I knew that you wouldn't want to be with me under these circumstances, and I just couldn't bear to be around you knowing that I could never..."

"Could never what?"

"Could never be with you in the way that I wanted to be."

He was quiet again for a moment, before he stroked her hair again gently. "I can't even begin to understand how hard that must have been for you. But it won't be hard anymore. I promise."

Sitting back in his loosened grip, Abby looked up at him with hope, trying to tell herself not to get to excited, just in case he didn't really mean what she hoped he did. He grinned down at her, kissing her forehead briefly before lifting her to her feet and standing in front of her. Grabbing her hand, he pulled her towards the staff room door, leading her out into the corridor behind him, his hand never loosening its grip on hers as she willingly followed.

*

Sam looked up as the curtains opened and smiled at Abby as Luka pushed her gently into the cubicle. She stood, getting ready to leave them to it.

"He's an amazing kid," she said gently, moving out and closing the curtains carefully behind her. Abby grinning as the small boy held his arms up to her, the mask still covering his face. Picking him up gently, she put him on her knee, ticking his knees gently and hearing him giggle. She kissed his head softly, not noticing her son grin and flap his arms at Luka, who pulled a face back at him, making him laugh again.

"What's his name?" Luka asked, moving forwards and pulling out his stethoscope again. Abby carried on looking at the boy on her knee, smoothing his hair from his face with a loving smile.

"Charlie," she replied, watching as Luka smiled and put the stethoscope into his ears, listening again to his chest. "His breathing is better, but I think we'd better give him another nebuliser before you go, just to be safe."

Abby nodded, kissing his forehead again and smiling reassuringly at him. "Thank you," she half whispered to Luka, who rubbed her shoulder reassuringly. She smiled, her face slightly confused, as she watched Luka pick up the lion that had appeared on Charlie's bed since they had been gone and tease him with it.

The curtains opened suddenly, and Kerry looked in. She smiled at Abby, but looked straight to Luka. He watched her carefully.

"Luka, we need you out here," she told him waiting for him to stand up and surprised when he shook his head.

"I'm needed where I am, Kerry. I'm not leaving."

Kerry opened her mouth to argue, and then closed it again, nodding and closing the curtains carefully behind her. Abby looked at Luka, astonished that he had blown off his shift to stay with her. Reaching out, he gently touched her cheek, feeling her lean slightly into his touch as she closed her eyes with a contented smile.

"You're never going to have to do things alone anymore, Abby. I promise," he said gently, kissing her forehead. Pulling her against him, he felt her head rest against his shoulder, his heart rising that she was responding to him again. Looking down as Abby did, he saw that Charlie had fallen fast asleep, breathing easily on Abby's knee.


	10. A New Beginning

Hey guys, well here it is! The final part is up at last! Thanks for all your support and for sticking with this and carrying on till the end :) I really appreciate it! And I hope this part is alright for you all :)

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"Well, he's fit to go!" Luka said happily, watching as Abby attempted to put his coat on carefully so that she didn't wake him up. Moving forwards, he helped her to pull the sleeves over the little arms. Holding out his arms, Abby was surprised that he wanted to hold him, and passed him over gratefully so she could collect his belongings and grab her own coat that Sam had brought for her earlier.

Looking around at the right moment, she smiled despite herself as she saw Charlie wake slightly and snuggle closer into Luka's neck, making the tall doctor smile fondly down at the little boy.

"Come on, Abby, I'll take you home," he told her, putting his free arm around her shoulder supportively.

"You don't have to do that, Luka," she assured him, smiling as he stopped her, brushing some hair back behind her ear.

"I want to."

They walked quickly to the door and out to the car park, Abby enjoying having Luka's arm resting easily around her waist again as she saw that Charlie was firmly asleep on his shoulder. She leant against him, leaning her head back against his shoulder with a sigh and feeling his arm tighten supportively around her.

Waiting for Abby to sit in his car, Luka gently handed her son back to her, watching as she strapped the seatbelt around them both like a pro, not waking the small child. She smiled tenderly as she saw Luka look back to check that she was alright before pulling off. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even realise that they had reached her apartment until a gasp of cold air hit her from Luka opening the car door.

"Are you OK?" he asked in concern, and she shook her head with a smile, holding Charlie out for him to take and not missing the happy smile on his face as the boy settled on his shoulder again. Wandering up to her apartment, Abby was slightly bemused when Luka followed her in, closing the door softly behind him with his free arm, carrying Charlie like he weighed no more than a feather. Passing him carefully over to Abby, Luka grinned and headed towards her kitchen.

"I'll make coffee," he told her firmly, seeing her nod and not missing the puzzled look on her face.

He smiled happily as he watched Abby carefully climb up her stairs, mumbling something to her son that he couldn't hear. Charlie was such a cute child, especially with his thumb firmly in his mouth, his face peaceful in sleep. Just watching Abby with him, he could tell that she doted on him, and could see why because he was starting to get attached to him already, after only a short time.

Abby wandered back down a few moments later, expecting Luka to have already left. It had taken her a while to get Charlie to settle once he realised that she was going to leave. Rubbing the back of her neck, she jumped slightly when Luka reappeared, smiling tiredly at him as she accepted the cup he held out to her. Grabbing her free hand, he pulled her gently towards the sofa, sitting down next to her. Running her hands through her hair in exhaustion, Abby looked up at him, the confusion back again.

"You don't have to stay, Luka. Thanks for everything you've done."

He smiled gently at her. "I want to stay."

She chuckled humourlessly. "However nice it is having you around, I don't expect even you to raise another man's child."

"Abby, this wasn't your fault. You didn't have to leave when you did, and if I'd have known why I never would have let you go." He paused for a moment, reaching out to hold her hand. "If you'd let me, I would be honoured to be a part of this family."

She let the tears run down her face, biting her lip against letting any more escape. He smiled gently at her, rubbing her knuckles softly with his thumb.

"It's killed me, Abby, to not have you near. And since you've been back all I've wanted to do is hold you like I used to. You don't have to be afraid about me anymore, because I'm here for the long run."

Reaching out her hand and sniffing back the tears, Abby smiled a watery smile at him.

"I love you. I missed you too."

Leaning forwards, Luka caught her lips in his, kissing her gently. He was surprised when her arms when around his neck, and she quickly made the kiss more passionate. Pulling away, he looked at her lovingly, seeing her grin back at him as if he had just given her life again.

"I always wanted a son," he told her, unable to hide the happiness on his face, matched by Abby who pulled him into a tight hug. "And I always wanted to spend the rest of my life with you."

She squeezed him tight, a few tears making a wet patch on his shoulder. "Oh, Luka, me too."

Pulling away from him, she caught his hand, pulling him towards the stairs in the direction her bedroom. Looking back, she grinned mischievously at him, seeing him smile back like a kid at Christmas.

She looked back in confusion when Luka suddenly pulled her back towards him, not letting go of her hand. He stood at Charlie's door, looking through at the sleeping child with a look of awe on his face. She smiled adoringly up at him, letting him hold her against him for a moment, all of them a family in that room and the enormity of the moment caught up with him. He kissed her forehead, closing the door gently.

"I feel like I'm getting everything that I've ever wanted all at once," he told her, feeling her squeeze his hand again.

"Luka, I..." she started, feeling his fingers press firmly against her lips.

"You don't have to say anything Abby. Thank you, for everything you've given me. Now, let me show you how I feel," he told her with a wink, kicking the door shut gently behind him as Abby giggled happily.

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There we go, the end!! Hope it's been OK and I'll hopefully try to organise thoughts into another story at some point :) Thanks to you all!!


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